A Perfect 10 for Goodness Sake

Conviction. It's a powerful thing. It is not guilt, because I have chosen to follow Christ. However, the goal is to move when convicted, not sweep it under the rug or convince myself it is just another 'option'. Throughout my walk with Christ, I have had too many convictions to name, and I can guarantee there will be a lifetime more to come, all with a promise to make me more like Christ if I follow Him. I am not hopeless in this, but choose to dwell on the grace I have been freely given through Jesus.

A recent conviction of mine involves how I parent our children. Blake and I are, thankfully, on the same page when it comes to the ways we train up our children. I can honestly say that we have done relatively well when it entails pointing them towards God. This one seems to be fairly easy for us, and maybe that is because our life as a family has been full of many ups and downs - there is absolutely no question God deserves all praise and glory. However, we still have an infinite amount of work to do to make much of our Lord and show our children His love.

The conviction I am sharing is more focused on the 'intentional'. I can be a good parent. I discipline. I give great advice. I cook amazing meals and give great snacks. I withhold the sugar when needed, but I am generous when it is deserved. I read them poetry and classic children's books. We play, a lot! We are very active in our church and our kids even beg us (most days!) when they can go to church again. My home is almost always squeaky clean and super organized. Etc. Etc.

But...

I do this for perfectionista's (Moi) sake. I am a people pleaser. I discipline to make 'good' kids. I want us to look GOOD. Perfect. You know... the impossible. I am setting my beautiful children up to fail, because my goal is wrong. We are not 'good' people. Only by the grace of God have we (Blake and I) been given the Holy Spirit to make us righteous. We do not know if our children have been chosen by God at this point, but we must make sure to point them in the direction of 'right' for righteousness' sake, not for 'goodness'' sake. Otherwise, we lead them down a path of failures, not being able to measure up to the perfection it would take to earn God's favor as 'good'. This is impossible. For we cannot earn God's favor, His free gift of salvation. It is free. Period. It has nothing to do with us. No meal, no amount of book-reading or discipline, and no home will ever be enough to deserve God's love. Likewise, no child who has been taught to look good for the sake of being good has been given the correct view of God and will most likely be confused when figuring out that it is impossible to please Him. He loves us despite our imperfection, not because we strive for perfection. Striving gets us no where.

So where does this lead me? To my knees. I ask God for wisdom to grasp the vastness of the grace and love He's shown me. I repent of my incessant need to prove myself to Him. I ask Him to remind me that I am made FOR Jesus and not myself. And I pray for my children - that the Lord will do a miraculous work in them, in spite of AND because of my imperfections.

When we struggle with our imperfections in our home - whether it involves not sharing toys, or not wanting to cook dinner, or being grumpy and mean, etc. - we have taught Evie and Jackson a phrase to remember from the Westminister Catechism...

We ask them, "What is the chief end of man?" They (Evie for now, but Jackson's learning) respond, "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever."

This is the focus, right? The ultimate goal? I'm choosing to set my standards here, and not on my ability to please and make much of myself.

So let hope rise,

And darkness tremble

In Your holy light,

And every eye will see

Jesus, our God,

Great and mighty to be praised.

God of all days,

Glorious in all of Your ways.

Your majesty, the wonder and grace,

In the light of Your name.

With everything,

With everything,

We will shout for Your glory!