Priorities

I am currently going through the bible study "Experiencing God" with the women at our church. I have never done this study before, but was told it would change my life. And it is.

The past couple of weeks of the study have focused on building a 'love relationship' with God. This study makes the case that in order to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" you must have a 'love relationship' with Him. For some reason this was very profound for me. I always understood that I must love Him first and above all others, but it never occurred to me that meant putting forth an extreme amount of effort/time into an actual 'love relationship'. Now that I've recognized this, my life is changing and is beginning to go down different paths.

I must have a secure relationship with God in order to know Him. To know His will for my life, I must learn His 'habits', who He is. Major decisions in my life are taking place, and it is taking more trust in the Lord than I've ever had.

Lately, the Lord has been heavily laying it on my heart to spend more time taking care of Evie, Blake and our home. At first I was a little frustrated because I just started back at school this semester working towards a nursing degree. I believe, with all my heart, that God has given me the desire to become a nurse... But maybe I'm not supposed to act on that right now. If I'm supposed to become a nurse, the Lord will make it happen, whether it's now or in the future.

Because I feel such a strong pull towards staying home for as long as possible with Evie, I am considering putting nursing on hold. As much as I don't want to quit going to school, I know that I would be peace if I listen to God about giving more of myself to my family and home.

I'm also having quite a few health issues... most due to the amount of stress and exhaustion from taking on too much 'stuff': school, work and being home. I've decided to look at these health issues as clues that I need to step back from some of these commitments. And that's okay. Aiming for goals is very important, but not at the expense of my health and family. Priorities.