Time Issues

After much thinking and many discussions, I have decided it is beneficial for me to deactivate my Facebook and Myspace accounts. There are several reasons why I've chosen to do this. First and foremost, I spend ridiculous amounts of time reading friend's pages, changing my own layouts, adjusting/adding information, etc. in order to make these pages absolutely perfect... yes, I'm OCD. This wasted time is catching up with me. I came to the realization that I've spent hundreds and hundreds of hours on the internet when I could have been spending it with Evie, or reading a book, or keeping up with house chores, or...etc., etc. This REALLY concerned me and I decided I needed to make a change. At first, I just tried to limit myself to a few minutes a day... but this addictive personality that I have kept me from being diligent with that plan.

Blake had me watch a podcast by Mark Driscoll. It was actually a sermon on Proverbs called 'Planning'. Amazingly eye-opening. Honestly, I consider myself to be a pretty successful planner. I'm a list-maker. I make intense lists for EVERYTHING. I plan well. My weakness? I rarely follow through with these beautiful lists. Not only do I not follow through, but because I fail at completing these tasks I've written down, I live with constant guilt. One thing Mark Driscoll mentioned was to figure out three things that you waste your time on, that might be keeping you from fulfilling your goals/lists/etc. Immediately, the Internet came to my mind as my number one time-waster. I've used the excuse that I MUST have Facebook/Myspace in order to maintain relationships with friends. Just an excuse. I enjoy staying up-to-date with my friends, but I know that those who are most important in my life will remain close through other means (email, phone, etc.).

My second thing holding me back from completing my goals would be that my priorities have been backwards...

My current priorities:
1. Myself
2. Evie
3. Blake/Family/Friends
4. God

What I want my priorities to be:
1. God
2. Myself and Blake (separately and together)
3. Evie
4. Family
5. Friends

...See! I'm a good list-maker, huh?! :)

Lastly, I waste a GREAT deal of time with food and appearance. Food is another perfect example of an addiction I struggle with. I'd say about 85% of my thoughts are concerning food: "What am I going to eat next?" "I've eaten too much." "I now hate food because I ate too much and have gained weight." "I will refrain from eating anything for several days because I feel so guilty for gorging myself and now need to lose that excess weight." "Now I'm starving, hating life, and NEED food to make me feel better."... full circle, back to "What am I going to eat next?" and eating everything in sight to fill a void... What a waste of precious time.

SO! Now that I've pin-pointed my three main struggles that are holding me back from being the best I can be, I will be performing major readjustments in my life. Facebook and Myspace are cancelled. Priorities are being turned upside-down. And I will be working on the deeper issues behind my obsession with food/appearance...

Only by God's GOOD grace will I be successful... the most important goal being to bring glory to Him.